Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Nikmat Hujan


Nak pergi sekolah (kampus) pagi ke, lepas Zuhur...
Pagi ke, lepas Zuhur. Pagi ke.....
Baiklah, lepas Zuhur lah! Titik!

'Perbalahan' berlaku di antara dua Ain. Ain yang nak keluar pagi dan Ain yang nak pergi lepas Zuhur.

Akhirnya, aku rasakan, pergi selepas Zuhur bukanlah pilihan yang terbaik. Ya, senang, dah solat Zuhur siap-siap di rumah dengan selesa, siap makan. Tapi cabaran yang terpaksa ditempuh ialah, HUJAN LEBAT!

Aku dah janji dengan kawan, nak buat eksperimen pukul 2 petang. Disebabkan mempengaruhi jadual masa orang lain, aku tak sampai hati nak batalkan hanya sebab hujan. Lagipun, bukan silap dia kalau hujan. Aku yang tak datang pagi kan. Jadi, aku tempuh juga hujan tu.

Image Detail

Ya, memang aku ada payung. Aku pakai warna pink belacan. Hehehe.. Saiz pun macam dalam gambar di atas.Mungkin hujan tu seronok. Nak-nak kalau ada istilah main hujan atau tidur di rumah semasa hujan. Lari-lari dalam hujan nyanyi lagu kuch kuch hota hai.

Image Detail

*Alamak! Hritik Roshan!*

Tapi untuk aku tadi, perasaannya adalah sedih. Mungkin sebab aku rasa hujan tu seperti hukuman tak pergi kampus awal. Atau sedihnya aku tak ada kereta. Juga jauhnya rumah aku dengan tempat perhentian bas. Jauh? 8 minit jalan kaki tepi jalan raya dalam hujan lebat, jauh lah!

Bertambah sedih bila aku mengenangkan yang aku akan bila-bila saja kena percikan air. Eerrrr.. percikan? Tempias? Splash!

Image Detail

Ini maksud aku. Memang aku berada sedekat itu saja dengan kereta yang lalu lalang. Aku dah bersedia, pasrah. Demi sebuah eksperimen. Cewah.

TETAPI! Sepanjang 8 minit jalan kaki dan 8 minit tunggu bas (ya ya je 8.. saja nak nombor cantik), sedih aku bertukar menjadi gembira sedikit demi sedikit sebab semua kenderaan yang lalu melepasi aku memperlahankan kenderaan mereka, dan aku tak kena pun splash air (masih tercari-cari bahasa Melayunya apa) walaupun setinggi paras buku lali. Aku terharu malah rasa sangat disayangi oleh semua pemandu-pemandu itu!

"Laarrr.. memang lah, takkan lah orang nak bawa kereta laju-laju masa hujan, nak-nak engkau tengah jalan kaki kat tepi jalan tu...", mungkin ada orang akan jawab, semata-mata nak matikan rasa teruja aku kan?

Siapa kata memang lah? Siapa kata?
Tau tak kenapa aku sangat teruja gembira dan terharu sebab tak kena splash air hari ni? Kenapa?

***************************

Hari pertama aku ke sekolah masa darjah 3, aku jalan kaki seorang diri. Pakai baju sekolah baru. Jalan dengan riang-ria, tak terdetik rasa takut kena culik sebab zaman tu belum popular lagi isu kanak-kanak kena culik walaupun cantik macam aku. Girang nak pergi sekolah, cuaca mungkin baik.

Jalan kampung dah tak sibuk (memang pastilah aku dah lambat sebenarnya, sebab tu jalan lapang), tiba-tiba ada satu kereta dipandu laju. Berdesuuuupp! Langkah aku terhenti dan aku bingung sekejap. Lepas tu aku yang baru 9 tahun tu menangis. Sebab, kereta tu sebenarnya langgar satu lopak air dan aku kena splash air tu, basah sampai muka tau!!!! Air warna coklat!

Aku patah balik, berlari ke rumah.

"Maaaaa!!!!!!"
Menangis. Mak aku sambut. Aku tak tahu la bapak aku kerja kot. Adik-adik aku, entah. Kecik lagi.
"Kenapa ni??"
"Ain kena langgar..!!."
"Haaa!!! Kena langgar...!!!!"
Mak aku dah pegang-pegang aku dah nak periksa.
"Bukan.. bukan,.. kereta langgar lopak air, air kena Ain..."

Aku pergi juga sekolah hari tu. Tapi tak dapat pakai baju baru. Pakai baju lama =( Dan terlalu lambat sampai di sekolah.

***************************


Maka sebab itulah, dalam hujan tadi, terdetik rasa terkilan yang amat sangat terhadap pemandu kereta 16 tahun lalu itu. Tergamak dia buat macam tu pada kanak-kanak cantik dan comel lagi suci itu kan. Bukannya tengah hujan lebat kalau dia tak nampak aku. Hari pertama sekolah tahun tu, aku masih rasa kesal, tergamak dia.. tergamak dia!

Dia tak nampak lopak air? Kalau betul tak nampak, tak boleh ke berhenti bila dah splash air tu kat kanak-kanak tak berdaya tu?

Bila mengenangkan semua kereta yang perlahan sebab nak melepasi aku tadi, betapa terharunya aku. Malah ada kereta yang hampir berhenti, sebab jalan yang aku lalu untuk ke tempat tunggu bas tu sempit, dan ada kereta lain dari arah bertentangan. Kedua-dua kereta itu saling bertolak ansur semata-mata sebab ada gadis asia pendek yang jalan lambat ada di tepi jalan.

Ada juga satu lopak air yang besar. Aku berhenti  sebab aku perlu ke tengah jalan supaya boleh elak lopak air tu. Kereta yang ada di belakang aku masa tu bersungguh-sungguh elak aku. Aku sangat terharu!

Jujur aku sangat malu dengan pemandu yang pernah mengotorkan baju sekolah baru aku. Sampai hati dia...

Dan sungguh-sungguh aku bersyukur dengan pelajaran yang aku dapat hari ini. Hujan memang satu nikmat.



Sunday, May 13, 2012

Gigit ; Khilaf Silam

Gigit legakan geram,
Kononnya boleh hilang muram,
Senyum tutup suram.

Lihat kesan terasa seram,
Gigit sampai putus bukan setakat lebam,
Diam dalam kelam.

Hajat nak buat ego padam,
Akhirnya kesal khilaf silam.

 *Pengajaran : Fikir dulu sebelum gigit*


 Image Detail

Life is About Creating Myself

"Please tell me about yourself..."
Rasanya, itu soalan wajib dalam temuduga, kan?

"Aku kenal diri aku lebih daripada kau kenal aku!"
Rasanya, pernyataan itu betul, kan?

"Aku nak cari diri aku..."
Rasanya, beberapa drama juga guna dialog itu, kan?

Aku pernah sangat bahagia sebab sebut satu ayat iaitu, "I am discovering myself". Rasa macam mata celik,  pintu hati terbuka. Macam memijak satu anak tangga baru menuju kematangan hidup, cewah...

Sehinggalah minggu lepas, aku jumpa satu ayat ni pula;

























"Dah besar nanti awak NAK jadi apa?"
Bukannya, "Dah besar nanti TAHU tak awak apa?"

Life isn't about finding @ discovering myself. Life is about creating myself. Heeeyaaaak!!! Semangat!!!!!

*Sumber ayat, Google. 'Virtual scrapbooking' dibuat dengan menggunakan MiDesign@Michaels Photo Creation. Sumber gambar, tangkapan sendiri. Model, anak-anak kak Aisyah =)


Friday, May 11, 2012

Aku Nak Limau

*Aku rasa, ayat aku tak sedap kali ini (cewah, selama ni macam sedap kan..) Jangan guna ayat dalam tulisan kali ini untuk karangan SPM ya. Kalau tiada sebarang kesalahan pun, tak dapat A rasanya. Tak sedap, tak sedap, ada aku kesah? Lalala~

Tahun lepas, Dania mahu epal. Tanpa epal, akal dia akan mati. Dania perlukan akal yang hidup untuk lunaskan segala tanggungjawab. Maka aku anggap, memberi epal pula adalah tanggungjawab aku. Aku beri Dania epal dengan SEGERA.
Kerana Dania MENGARAHKAN aku beri dia epal.

Dania tak perlu ucap terima kasih. Tambahan pula, beri Dania epal adalah tanggungjawab aku.
Apa rasa epal bagi Dania, aku tak pernah tahu.

Bulan lepas, aku mahu limau. Tanpa limau, akal aku akan mati. Aku perlukan akal yang hidup untuk lunaskan segala tanggungjawab. Maka aku anggap, aku perlu diberi limau, dan itu tanggungjawab Dania.

Hari ini, aku masih nantikan limau. Dania kata, dia cuba bantu. (Err.. bantu???)
Dania kata, ada banyak lagi pengemis limau yang lain. Dia pening. Dia nak kumpulkan limau, nak agihkan limau, nak cari balik limau, nak kira limau, eh, prosedur agihan limau berubah, dia nak cari kotak limau, dia nak jumpa tokey limau, dia nak ambil borang tempahan limau..
Aku terus dengar, sambil tunggu limau, MENGEMIS limau.

Darwis nampak limau bersepah di sekeliling Dania.
Tapi tak nampak epal sebab dah selamat Dania makan.
Darwis cari aku, "Ain, sabarlah, jangan lah desak sangat Dania tu, kesian saya tengok dia, melambak-lambak limau dia, awak tak patut minta limau tu selalu, sabar je"
"Darwis, nak limau"
"Maaf Ain, saya tak jaga limau, saya jaga avocado"

"Macam mana saya nak dapatkan avocado ye? Boleh tak saya makan avocado je kalau tak dapat limau?"
Darwis tiba-tiba koma, tak mampu menjawab apatah lagi membantu.



Aku tak kesah orang tak nampak aku bagi Dania epal.
Aku tak kesah orang tak nampak cara Dania minta dan terima epal.
Aku tak kesah dengar masalah Dania dan limau-limaunya.
Aku tak kesah tak dapat tahu lebih pasal avocado dari Darwis.
Yang aku kesah, AKU NAK LIMAU!



Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A non-CC Toastmaster was Evaluating an Advanced Project

I love to tell my friends about any events in my life, to share the excitement, happiness, frustration or anger. However, we will not have a pair of ears every time we need, making me feel not so happy when I want to tell a story so much but I don't have extra ears other than mine. Luckily, I have a beautiful orange laptop (the color, not the smell or the shape hahaha), so I can write and people can read anytime they want. If there is anyone.

**************************

I am a member of Toastmaster International club since last June, and I join a club in Johor Jaya. Now, since I am currently working in Duke University, Durham, North Carolina, I transfer my membership (temporarily) to PRATTically Speaking Toastmaster Club, here. (PRATT is the name of the faculty.. or building? eerrr..)

For those who are not familiar with Toastmaster International, ah ha....!!! I will tell you more later.. lalala... I don't read about Toastmaster before I join. I only heard its name twice, then I visited the meeting and experienced it by myself before knowing it 'theoretically'. What I can say, you will 'feel' it and decide you will join or not, not understanding it by words before coming to know it (I am creating an excuse for not giving the introduction about Toastmaster International hahaha). Okay, fine, you can visit www.toastmasters.org if you want to read before attending.

Or, wait for my next post entitled "Toastmaster Story from Me for a non-Toastmaster". Okay?

Now, back to the story, that I want to share, as a Toastmaster in Duke. Today, I took the speech evaluator role. I evaluated a speaker; a Professor while I am a girl who is struggling with my PhD. He was delivering an Advanced Project while I am still working on my basic speech projects (7 out of 10 from Competent Communication manual ; this is what I meant by 'A non-CC Toastmaster'). Enough evidences to show that he has more experiences in many aspects and I have enough reasons to feel more worry. Can you feel that? Can you feel that??!! Wuuuaaaa!!!!

Image Detail

At first I thought I will be dropped as an evaluator (here, members sign up to take a role online) because my first speaker (evaluatee) was sick, so she cannot attend the meeting. So I didn't think that I will evaluate the professor. But one hour before the meeting, I contacted the secretary of the club (because I receive an email from her, so it reminded me to ask), she told me that;

"Actually, you are more than qualified to do Zbigniew's evaluation!!  Since we are a new group, we still give feedback to more advanced speakers.  Even though we may not have the experience, we still have valuable information as a listener and can give them positive feedback and even words of improvement." Ah ha...! A very encouraging email.

Toastmasters always encourage, motivate and inspire others...

I only manage to find a beautiful sentence before the meeting as my preparation;

"Feedback is a breakfast for a champion" on the Toastmasters International website. Okay, that is beautiful enough for my speech evaluation. At least I have some preparation!

I arrived 5 minutes before the meeting, and my evaluatee still not there. I don't have his manual so... How can I know what I will evaluate...? Okay, take it easy, Ain... I sat and inhale as much oxygen as I can.

I managed to have his manual 10 minutes after the meeting was started. I cannot read with full concentration because people were talking. The president, the Toastmaster, the Word Master and the other speakers. Huh.. I started to prepared my table (two sections) on my notepad, one with a smiley, one with a sad face, to symbolize the good things and the need to be improved aspects. While keep reading maybe 30% from his manual, the 1st project of Technical Presentation.

I believe that the General Evaluator can feel how cold my hand was. Huhu..
When I was at the podium, "owh oh.. how can I give feedback for a professor!! an advanced project! Mommy!! Help!!!", I spoke to myself.

"I am so happy because madam General Evaluator pronounced my name perfectly!"

It was my first sentence. Then people laughed. And, yes, I felt better. (One important tips from my mentor, Ajan. Make the audience laugh)

I read the objectives of the speech to the audience.. Errr.. I believe, I am not sure how to pronounce few words. I think I wasted few seconds there. And I didn't greet. Zzz...

I gave my evaluation according to his speech. Starting from the title, the introduction, the objectives and the details in his speech. My mistake was....
I didn't choose what I will share and what I won't. So I keep talking 6-7 points written on my paper. Hahaha.. so greedy! I talked in chronological way. When suddenly I saw the orange card! From 4, I manage to tell only 2 suggestions. And... I was speaking for 4 minutes 13 seconds. The timer said, "this make you walk on the red carpet" ah ha...!

Actually, I was surprised. I thought it was 3 minutes and 30 seconds. hehe.. Yes, here, they don't have a bell to 'stopped' you. Only the red card @ lamp, like in a contest.

I was upset because I describe so much on one or two points, until I have no chance to share one interesting suggestion (at least, for me). It will be better if I have better English.. lalalala... Practice more, Ain! So I will not wasting time in thinking the words. I believe that I only need to choose less points @ strengths, not all I observed. Don't be so greedy. (For your information, this is my 2nd speech evaluation in my Toastmaster's journey)

And feedback from others?
1- Over the time limit... yes
2- I spoke fast... I always get this feedback. So some words were not clear.
3- I used present tense when it should be past tense.
4- only 4 uhm.. (time filler). yes! hehehe..
5- I used an interesting closing (hahaha, luckily I found that 40 minutes before the meeting) and I can see the professor smiled widely!!!
6- I was not judgemental and honest.. hehehehe.. *blushing* I used, "I feel... I think..." instead of, "we cannot see.. we feel bad.." or "you cannot.. it was bad.." (actually this is an email I received from the Mr President.. hee....)
7- One important point, I told that my evaluatee looked at his laptop's screen while talking to the audience at one particular time. I suggested that it is better if he talk (and look) to the audience first telling what he is going to do (he wanted to change a setting on the software : a demonstration) before facing the laptop. So, he will not lost the connection (eyes) with the audience. But I said "... so you will not lost one @ all" referring to the audience. Zzzz..

*I can share more about what he did that make me really impressed. But.. later lor... =p This post is not about his speech, but about my speech evaluation experience =D

Last but not least, I am happy!

Image Detail



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Setuju Insan


Kongsikan impian dan kecohkan harapan,
Atau terkubur cita-cita dek kurang sokongan.
Aku tak sudi iyakan.

"Siapa nak A semua?"
Belum sempat mengaku teruja
Sahabat potong, cakap nak lulus sahaja
Aku diam mahu sekepala

"Ada yang mahu A lapan?"
Mahu sama-sama angkat tangan berteman
Tapi cikgu tatap mata aku bukan mata kawan
Orang kata itu tanda dia taruh harapan
Aku anggap dia abai kawan-kawanku punya perasaan
Aku tak angkat tangan, senyum pun tak kuberikan.

Hadiah nobel pernah jadi semangat
Dikongsi muka bahagia tak ingat
Orang dewasa jawab tak sampai lima saat
"Itu milik mereka, bukan mainan kita punya umat"
Air liur ditelan, hasrat disekat.

Maka aku percaya dari zaman ke zaman
Bahawa kongsikan impian dan kecohkan harapan
Bukanlah jalan tapi kesombongan
Mampu buat senyum jadi air mata
Buat cita-cita dipandang dosa.


Aku tak harap engkau iyakan
Aku hidup pun dengan percayanya Tuhan
Bukan atas setuju insan.

~ ayen : 0058 : 010512 ~