A Stranger and Hair Clips

Ops... suddenly my friend and I were in City Square (a shopping mall in Johor) =p

"I have no money for shopping!"
"Me neither!"
"..just go...!! weeheee...!"

Go to a shopping mall is different between go shopping. Understand?
The world is so beautiful. Why should I go back home early when I have no kids (not yet) to be fed, right? muahahaha...!

At one shop, I wanted to buy some hair clips. One hair clip for RM 2.90? RM 3.00? RM 5.90? Wow, 8 years before, I think I can buy 3 hair clips with only RM 1.00! Errr.. or, maybe I was wrong. I am bad in remembering numbers. Never mind. I took some.

At the counter, suddenly a lady grabbed one of my hair clips in front of the cashier and she said,
"Wah! RM 2.90? So expensive meh?"
I looked at her suspiciously. What the...! Who are you!!! Hey, it is okay la to buy a RM 2.90 hair clip in a shop while at its entrance, it has RM 200++ bracelets! What can you expect? (That bracelets are so stupid, hahaha.. )
"Pay RM 2.90 for a hair clip! Wah.. this place is so expensive la...!"
I thought I want to ignore her, but she was staring at me, waiting for my response.
"Why you are so rich?"

And I totally forgot about the cashier. 
I looked like a simple and humble person but actually I am richer? That was what she thinking? hahaha.. Or, I looked terrible with my RM 0 sling bag and RM 10 scarf? Then, I walked away from the cashier.

"Actually, I did not by hair clips for years. Before this I only bought different hair accessories. Now I changed my hair cut so I think I need hair clips. So, I am not sure which one is good or which price is normal. What would you suggest?"
I hope I can lower her voice.
"I am not working here.. hehehe" yes, she spoke slower then. "But I think that one is really expensive ma.. Come here.."
"You want me to buy this?"
"Yes, this one is cheaper.. With RM 2.90, you have 5. Lost one, have four more meh..."
"It is smaller. Do you think it will work the same?"
"Hurm..."
Of course she was thinking hardly, because I am wearing scarf and she cannot see my hair.
"I think la.. hey, that one is so expensive la.. owh this one also expensive.. hai-ya, why everything is so expensive here?"
"You are cute meh..." I giggled and touched her chin after taking the suggested hair clips
She smiled.. " thank you for your advice", I continued and I think she was happier when I changed the hair clips.

I think I love talking with friendly strangers. They are fun. Especially if they have the package of I-want-to-help-you. (And, if I am not in hurry)

Few months ago, I once planned to have a special blog, that I will write only about the strangers I met and had conversation with. EVERY STRANGERS. Especially last few months, I was in US and I plan to talk to a new people everyday (I think, people who are doing research need to talk more before they become crazy). I believe, meeting new people always make me happier. And I wanted to write how cheerful my day was because of a stranger. But, the special blog is still not exist.. Hot-hot the chicken's shit hahaha.. (directly translated Malay's proverb to show a non-continuous enthusiasm) Aarrghh, maybe later.. today is the starter =)

Like the Chinese-lady, maybe in her 30s, she showed to me that being innocent about hair clips is cute.. hahaha.. No no no.. The more important lesson, love your money. RM2.90 can be small, but it is big for a person who only have RM 5 to survive for a week. Because, we can buy instant noodles for 3-5 days! (I experienced this)

We lost nothing to be friendly. We lost nothing to make a stranger happy. Because we can never expect a stranger making us realize about something and be inspired. So, start talk to more strangers, yeah!!!

*But, I am not happy with the hair clips she suggested to me. It doesn't suit me well. Good experiment =)

Kau Tetap Kahwin Dengan Aku

"Mama dah naik pentas dah, pertandingan menyanyi kat kilang dulu. Mama mula nyanyi padahal belum sepatutnya start. Kira Ma salah masuk lah. Lepas tu juri terus cakap, NEXT!"

"Lar, tak sempat nyanyi sebaris pun?"

"Tak... Mama tak dengar sangat muzik tu.. Baru buka mulut sikit.. Juri tu, bagilah peluang ke kan.. Kalau dapat nyanyi hari tu, tentu sekarang Mama dah jadi penyanyi... hihihi.."

"Hahaha.. mesti glamor kan.. ", aku layankan.

"Tau tak apa.. Kalau Mama jadi penyanyi terkenal, mesti Mama tak jumpa Papa.. Bukan bapak kau tu laki aku lah.." sambil buat muka berlagak.

Tanpa dijemput, ada suara menyampuk. "Apa pulak, kalau Mama penyanyi terkenal, Mama tetap akan kahwin dengan Papa. Sebab kalau Mama penyanyi, Papa dah jadi komposer", muka yakin, buat-buat sibuk menyusun barang.

"Eleh, Long, bapak kau tu memang macam tu. Kau dengar eh, Ma tanya lagi satu.. eh... Bang, kalau aku belajar pandai-pandai, aku jadi cikgu, mesti bukan kau laki aku kan?", muka dia tambah berlagak..

"Apa pulak, kalau kau cikgu, aku guru besau. Kau tetap jumpa aku"
Pantas bapak aku yang rambut macam Albert Einstein tu jawab.
"Kau jadi apa pun, kau tetap kahwin dengan aku", bapak aku buat muka gangster. Ala-ala "Lu tak akan boleh lari dari gua...!"


Teringat drama-drama Melayu;
"Kalau I jadi bulan?", "I lah bintangnya"
"Kalau saya jadi bunga?", "Sayalah tangkainya"
"Kalau aku ombak?", "Akulah pantainya"


Tapi mak bapak aku buat versi Melaka. Eerrr.. ni kira mak bapak aku romantik ke? Yang penting, they are the best for me =)

Semoga mereka berkasih sampai ke syurga... Amin...

Lena dan Rasa

Letih zahir, mahukan lena
Sudah berjaga, zahir cergas semula
Letih perasaan, mahukan putus asa
Sudah hilang harapan, tiada lagi rasa

Kalaulah boleh dirawat letih perasaan dengan lena
Pasti manusia tak kenal erti kecewa

Aku mahu lena
Lena yang pulangkan cergas
Lena yang pulangkan rasa

Kelahi Sengketa

Baju biru atau baju hijau
Tenung, pegang, acu dan tenung lagi
Baju biru atau baju hijau
Tinggal, jalan, patah balik, pegang lagi
Baju biru atau baju hijau
Masih keliru lagi

Jurujual hela nafas perlahan-lahan
Sorok rasa bosan
Baju biru atau baju hijau
Masih timbang lagi

Dalam diri sendiri juga ada dilema
Juga ada berbeza cita rasa
Juga ada kelahi dan sengketa
Inikan pula di antara dua manusia
Mengapa pelik kalau dikatakan kami tak serasi berdua?
Kami cuma berbeza
Bukan salah aku atau kurang dia
Tak perlu kau nilai siapa punya angkara

Pinggan Kaca Itu

Pinggan kaca kau buat hiasan.
Kacanya biasa, bukan istimewa yang didakwa tahan pecah.
Sekali terhentak, retak menanti belah.
"Kan ada gam" kau kata.
Baiklah, pinggan kaca kembali sempurna.

Datang bencana alam, bukan aku suka, bukan kau minta.
Pinggan kaca terhempas.
Bukan retak atau sumbing, tapi pecah.
"Kan boleh gam" kau kata.
Baiklah, pinggan kaca masih nampak sempurna.

Berlari anak kecil, tangan hayun kanan dan kiri.
Pinggan kaca ditepis, pecah lagi.
Anak kecil menangis, tak mampu kau salahkan.
Asalnya di atas meja buat hiasan, pinggan kaca kini kau kumpul dengan penyapu.
Penyapu yang kau guna buat alih sampah dan debu.

"Kan ada gam lagi. Kan boleh gam lagi" kau kata.
Baiklah, gamlah dengan teliti dan halus tangan kau.
Rawatlah dengan lembut dan sabar hati kau.
Tenangkanlah hati aku dengan senyuman ikhlas kau.
Gembirakanlah aku dengan dorongan dan keyakinan kau.

Mari aku beritahu satu permintaan tanpa lagu.
Selepas dua, tiga kali pecah, jangan jentik pinggan kaca itu.
Hatta belai, tak mampu aku restu.
Kerana pecah tujuh boleh jadi retak seribu.
Kau bawa gam lagi, tak guna kalau beku.

My Indian Friends

Happy Deepavali to all my Indian friends...

Hope you have a very happy and colorful Diwali with family and friends. In occasion with Deepavali, other than watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, I would like to dedicate my writing to my Indian friends.

Presenting you, "My Indian Friends"! (Forgive my English, you know me) =p

******************

 

During my first day of school, I made a new friend.

Everybody were running to the canteen when the bell rang. Recess time!
I was calmly walking from my classroom, no need to run because I had my food, prepared by my lovely mom. Then I saw a girl, leaning to the wall, alone.

"Hye! You have your meal box!"
"Yes..."
"Do you want to eat now?"
"Yes...."
"Lets go, eat with me...! My name is Ain!"
Then she smiled widely, "Okay! I am Bhanu, Bhanupriya!"

She was the only Indian girl in my class and she was the first friend I made, by myself. I was 7.

And she was the only Indian girl in that school too.

***********************

During my first experience abroad, in Poland, I had a number of new friends from different countries. Poland, of course, China, Philippines, Ethiopia, Pakistan and last but not least, India. That year was my first time celebrating 'Aidilfitri (Eidulfitri) without my parents and siblings and we had a lecture that morning. Wearing our traditional clothes, Baju Kurung, to the campus, attracted my classmates to ask what that special day was. 

"Today we celebrate Aidilfitri, after one month of fasting... "
"Owh, so you wear these colorful clothes.. what else you usually do?"
"Eat a lot, and meet a lot of people.. usually in the morning, we stay with our family.. but today is my first time celebrating this festival, far from my family...", I was monotonously explaining about that day.

Then one Indian classmate said,
"Come on, we ARE your family!"

I was touched. Even we newly met, and even he is not the nicest man I met (hahahaha...), that sentence will always in my mind, in my heart.

I remember one day, while waiting for our Professor for a lecture, he suddenly knocked my head. I was so angry and shouted,"Hey, why you knocked my head! Just call me, I can hear you"

"I am sorry, I thought you like it.. to call you"
"Nobody likes people knocking their heads!"
"But, I do that with my sister"

"............"

He touched my heart again. hehehe.. 

 

 *With some of our coursemates, while visiting zoo in Warsaw*

Debu, you are not the nicest Indian friend I have, but I was indebted for the assignment you made for me.. for the C++ class :p Debu (Debojyoti) knocked our room (three Malaysian girls and I) just to ask, "Did you finished the assignment?"
"No, we don't know how to solve that problem"
"And, you are sleeping?"
"Yes.." it was 2 am! We gave up and slept, with uncompleted assignment.

"Girls.. wake up..! I made the coding for you Malaysian girls!!! Come here, see this.. and modify it.."

Dear Dr. Sitnik, please forgive us for not 100% writing the codes by ourselves =)

I also knew Ravi during my one year in Poland, he was nice and funny sometime.

 * During Ravi's birthday party. He wore that shirt immediately after we gave it to him as a present*

 

*Malaysian students in Malaysian Embassy, Warsaw, Poland. Before we performed Joget (traditional Malay dance) and Prem was my dance partner, another Indian I know. Fuh, I was so slim at that time, in pink kebaya, OMG OMG!*

************************

During my first time visiting Sabah, another part of Malaysia, I knew another Indian guy, Malaysian. For that about one-week-visit of Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, I enjoyed knowing him so much. Other that 2-day-conference, we visited few places. And the best part was, he, Ganesan, accompanied me to take pictures before leaving, since my room mate left earlier and our another friend cannot wake up from his sleep.

*Picture that I really wanted before we leave, taken by Ganesan. By the way, we missed the sunrise.*

 

*I enjoyed the view so much. Pekan Nabalu, Sabah*

*One of the activities we enjoyed. OMG OMG, scary! But fun!*

The night before we leave, we enjoyed talking about many things. MANY TOPICS including about believes and love. Hurm, Ganesan, when we will meet again and talk, talk and talk.. eat, eat and eat?? Come on, stop working in that laser laboratory for a while, please... =p

************************

During my first day in United States, I met Vinella in my apartment. Vineela showed me my room and a mattress and I was quickly fall asleep. I was too tired after a 33-hour-journey from Malaysia. When I woke up, I met Poorna, the housemate that just backed from work. That was our first time meeting each other before she brought Vinella and I to shop some groceries. She cooked for my first dinner in US.. It was so cold and I only had my socks and sweater on me for sleeping, before she gave me a blanket!!! I was so lucky to have a housemate that want to help me with everything. EVERYTHING.

I enjoyed my 3-month-stay with Poorna and 2-month-stay with Vineela. We did a lot of things together. Eating, cooking, making cake, making clay-craft, painting (she painted, I watched hehe), watching TV, going to cinema.. We watched a number of thriller movies, and screamed together... 4 movies a week!! Haha.. We enjoyed gossiping too. And one more thing, I enjoyed cooking while listening to Poorna, she sang in the bathroom. Lovely! Ops...

*I don't enjoy sushi so much but I enjoyed sushi with Poorna and Vineela. Why they are so special? =p*

From Poorna and Vinella, two Indian girls that helped me a lot to enjoy my stay in US, I knew another Indians in US. There are also very nice. Helped answering my questions (about bus for example), helped me moving out to my second apartment (Poorna left the apartment after getting a new job in Atlanta), and and and... I enjoyed their tea! Oh my God, I missed tea made by Poorna and Shirisha!!!

 

*Rohit, Amruta, Viola, Vineela, Poorna, Shirisha*

And I met Anubhav and Mohan too. I am not sure if they think that I am their friends, or only a client. Hehehe.. They were the previous tenant of my second apartment. But, I did enjoy the discount Anubhav offered me for his furniture and the time I spent to clean the apartment with Mohan... hehehe =p

 

****************

Joining Toastmasters International in Johor, Malaysia, giving me more chances to make more friends, which is one of the reason for me to register as a member. The only Indian member currently in Johor Jaya Toastmasters Club, Perkash is a very soft spoken man; sometimes I look at him as he is a little brother when he feel nervous before delivering speeches, but sometimes I look at him as a big brother that care about others so much.

*One of Johor Jaya Toastmasters Club's activities, celebrating birthday!

And, I met some Indian friends also in more Toastmasters meeting, including Toasmasters Clubs in US.. Like Varsha and Anirudh, who shared a lot with me during my stay in Durham. And I enjoyed talking with them, they are very inspring and motivating. 

And, and and... I am looking forward to attend an Indian wedding, first time in my life this December. Devan!!!!! Cannot wait cannot wait..! OMG OMG!!!

*****************

And, special HAPPY DEEPAVALI to my Masters' supervisor, Dr Nandini =) She was not only supervising my study, my research... but also about life. Love her so much =)

Jodoh-tak-kesampaian

Kebiasaannya, aku pergi perpustakaan dengan terkocoh-kocoh sebab nak mencari buku, meminjam buku dan kemudian, berdesupp... aku blah. Pantas. Macam alergik perpustakaan gayanya. Tapi kali ini, dalam sejarah hidup aku, aku ke perpustakaan, cari satu tempat duduk lepas jumpa satu buku, lalu duduk membaca dengan tekun dan tenang. Maka, bila berasa tenang duduk dalam perpustakaan yang diam dan sejuk, membaca buku cerita pula tu, bukan buku rujukan, memang buat aku ada perasaan yang unik. Unik dan pelik, tapi menarik.

Tiba-tiba, aku rasa ada orang tenung muka aku lama-lama. Kemudian aku yakin menang dia tenung selepas dia tegur, "tekun baca buku nampak.."

Ah ha.. suara macho dah.. Siapakah gerangan?

Jari diselit dalam buku, untuk pastikan aku ingat muka surat semasa. Pandangan mata ditinggikan, selaras dengan mata yang menyapa. Mata bertentang. "Macam kukenal makhluk ini"

"Seorang?"

"Ada 4 orang ni", sambil tunjuk tiga kerusi kosong yang lain.

"Boleh duduk sini?"

"Duduk lah.. hurmm... eh.. ni... "

Aku dah ingat, dia lah mamat tu!

****************

Semasa konvokesyen UTM dua minggu lepas, aku sakan berjumpa macam-macam orang. Kawan-kawan yang lama tak jumpa atau hari-hari jumpa, kawan-kawan yang konvo atau datang UTM sebab kawan-kawan lain konvo. Serius bahagia dengan aktiviti berjumpa sakan, makan sakan, karaoke sakan, bergambar sakan. 

Ada satu ketika, aku nak bergambar dengan dua kawan yang lain. "Alamak, siapa nak ambilkan gambar kita tiga orang ni?". Dengan yakin, aku minta tolong seorang adik lelaki untuk tolong ambilkan gambar kami.

Masa aku minta tolong, adik tu baru lepas ambil gambar seorang graduan lain. Dia tengah tunjuk gambar yang dia baru ambilkan guna handphone. "Bang, okay tak gambar ni?", aku dengar adik tu cakap. Jadi aku rasa adik tu ada kelebihan mengambil gambar dan dia tengah free sementara graduan tu semak gambar-gambar yang diambil.

"Dik, tolong amikkan gambar.." dengan senyuman aku hulur kamera. Adik tu sambut. Yeah!

 

Gambar adik tu ambilkan

Sedang kami bergaya riang ria disebalik lensa, graduan yang selesai semak gambar dalam handphone dia tidak semena-mena, ambil gambar kami juga. Err...

Dah selesai, selepas ambil kamera aku daripada dik tu, aku pergi ke graduan tu dan tanya, "Nak saya ambikkan gambar awak dengan adik awak ke?"

"Eh, tak apa, tak apa..." dia tunduk, dan blah..

Ewah-ewah.. dah la ambil gambar curi dengan tak malu, lepas tu tak nak orang ambil kan gambar macam konon malu pula. Tak apa lah.. Dia memang macam pemalu pun. Tunduk je, jaga pandangan agaknya. Haih, aku cantik sangat lah tu!

"Ain, kenapa kau tak minta tengok gambar dia ambil tadi? Lepas tu suruh dia tag ko.. kan dapat FB dia!"
"Alaaa...!!! Pandainya kau! Tapi kenapa baru sekarang kau bagitau! Jangan-jangan dia calon jodoh aku"
"Haaa.. tu kira jodoh-tak-kesampaian lah!"

****************

"Ha ah, grad hari tu. Sekarang sambung kat sini juga..." dia beritahu.
"owh.. fakulti mana? ", sopan aku berbual, macam perempuan Melayu terakhir.

Panjang lah kami berbual dengan lelaki yang dinamakan sebagai jodoh-tak-kesampaian-aku dua minggu lepas tu. Rasa berbunga-bunga hati ni. Nasib baik bunga sahaja, kalau berbunga-bunga api? Tapi, "behave Ain, behave... dalam library ni", pesan Ain kepada Ain.

Senyum. Bahagia.

****************

Tiba-tiba, aku nampak kipas siling. Aku tengah senyum sambil telentang rupa-rupanya. Telentang atas katil. 

Kalaulah mimpi begitu indah, kenapa perlu aku bangun bertemu realiti...? Aarrghhhh!!!

Awak Orang Baik + Hantu Tak Kacau Hantu

Selepas membebel 3 minit tanpa henti; entah mana koma dan noktah, aku sembur segala ketidakpuasan hati. Si penadah telinga bukan saja mendengar dengan sabar tetapi matanya ligat memerhati keadaan jalan raya. Dia perlu risau sebab dia berada dalam kereta yang sedang dipandu oleh aku yang tengah marah dan kecewa. Memang bahaya.

Aku hairan, kenapa ada manusia yang tergamak sakitkan hati aku macam itu dan macam ini. Haih! Aku pun pijak pedal minyak laju-laju, brek pula mengejut bila perlu, hon sana sini bila kenderaan lain termangu-mangu. Tengah hari yang haru-biru.

"Awak mesti suka kalau bawa kereta di Batam"

"Haa?"

"Ya lah, macam ni lah di Batam orang bawa kereta"

Baiklah, aku tarik nafas, tenangkan perasaan. Cari cerita lain.

"&*%(#*%$@#!", ketidakpuasan hati lain diluah, tindakan jahat dikongsi.

"Eh, tak apa ke kalau awak buat macam tu?" si penadah telinga cuba merasionalkan manusia yang emosional.

"Diorang bagi servis pada saya lambat boleh, saya bagi apa yang diorang nak lambat tak boleh pulak"

"Hurm..."

"Huh..! Semua dalam UTM ni tak ada satu pun yang menyeronokkan saya!"

Suasana dalam kereta makin tegang. Aku sambung lagi, sambil mata berusaha cekap dan tangan berusaha tetap pada stereng kereta.

"Kenapa ni, semua orang nak sakitkan hati saya.. semua orang nak susahkan saya..."

Marah bertukar hampir sedih, kecewa dengan segala cabaran yang menimpa. Nada suara daripada keras bertukar jadi lembut tapi bergetar.

"Haaa.. semua orang susahkan awak, itu tandanya awak orang baik. Kalau awak tu jahat, yaaa.. tak perlu orang lain susahkan awak, sakitkan hati awak.. Macam dalam sinetron, yang selalu dapat susah tu siapa? Watak yang baik, kan?"

Sentap, kelakar, terharu, malu.. semua ada.. Untuk pengetahuan semua, si penadah telinga adalah Encik Supervisor untuk PhD aku. Huhu..

**************************

"Meh sini, aku urut kepala kau, pastu aku baca-baca, tangkal.. kasi halau hantu Kota Tinggi", mak aku buat muka yakin, ala-ala bomoh.

"Pulak..."

Balik kampung dengan demam yang bersisa selepas berprogram di Kota Tinggi, camping yang tak camping sangat... Biasalah, demam sebab tak cukup tidur, tak cukup air minum, tapi lebih durian.. Haaa.. tak mustahil boleh demam, kan?

Esok paginya, dia tunjuk kaki dia,

"Long, tengok ni, lebam. Lepas aku tangkal kau, terus lebam kaki aku. Ni hantu kat kau dah transfer ke aku la ni"

"Pulak..." Haha...

(Sila kawal adik-adik anda di bawah umur 18 tahun untuk hal-hal sebegini ya. 18PL)

Selepas dua tiga hari tinggalkan kampung, aku telefon lah mak aku,

"Haaa mama sihat tak?"

"Eh? Sihat lah, kenapa?"

"Kata haritu mama urut Ain, hantu Kota Tinggi dah transfer kat mama.. kot-kot lah mama pulak demam ke..."

"Owh.. aku tak demam.. sebab, hantu tak kacau hantu! hahaha.."

"Pulak..."

Berbual je la dengan mak aku ni, semua sakit jadi baik. Cayo lah cakap den...

********************

Aku orang baik, sebab tu hantu kacau aku. Huh!!!

Pilih tajuk PhD @ Masters?

Macam mana nak pilih tajuk untuk PhD atau Masters?



Ya, kita bertanggungjawab SEPENUHNYA terhadap apa yang kita pilih. Secara lebih tepat, terhadap tajuk penyelidikan yang kita pilih.

Semasa aku pilih tajuk @ bidang untuk PhD aku (dua tahun lepas), ada tiga faktor utama yang dapat aku keluarkan, dan sehingga semalam, bila ada orang minta nasihat di kala dalam dilema memilih tajuk bidang penyelidikan, aku berpendapat bahawa tiga faktor ini masih sesuai untuk dipertimbangkan.

1- Minat
2- Kepakaran @ tahap pengetahuan
3- Masa depan bidang penyelidikan tersebut

Aku tanya soalan yang sama semasa aku sibuk-sibuk nak pilih tajuk PhD aku. Jawapan seorang pensyarah UTM yang dah tamat PhD nya di Jepun dengan jayanya mengulas (berdasarkan sokongan beberapa pensyarah dan rakan yang lain juga);

"Ikut minat awak. Kenapa?

Kalau ikut kepakaran, awak rasa awak tahu tentang A lebih daripada B, (sebab masa Masters @ Ijazah Pertama awak, lebih tahu tentang A) maka awak pilih A untuk PhD awak. Tahukah awak, PhD tu satu proses ilmu yang panjang, 3-5 tahun. Kepakaran dan tahap pengetahuan awak belum cukup (sangat tak cukup) untuk tampung proses mendapat PhD awak tu, sebab awak perlu belajar BANYAK LAGI. Jadi, pada pendapat saya, tak kiralah kalau awak tahu B sangat sedikit sekali pun, awak  kena belajar banyak juga untuk PhD nanti, sama macam kalau awak pilih A pun. Jadi tak semestinya awak perlu pilih tajuk yang konon-kononnya awak dah biasa @ lebih tahu.

Jika awak nak fikir tentang masa depan satu-satu bidang, ini lagi susah. Ada orang kata, tajuk C dah tepu, banyak orang buat, tak ada cabang penemuan baru, peluang menyerlah amat tipis. Maka awak nak pilih bidang D. Tapi tajuk D pula tak banyak orang buat, masa depan nampak kelam, entah jadi entahkan tidak. Jadi kita sangat tak mampu nak jangka masa depan satu-satu bidang penyelidikan. Pokoknya, sama saja kalau awak pilih tajuk C atau D.

Sebab tu saya dengan yakin, mengatakan, pilih tajuk penyelidikan ikut MINAT awak. Sebab kalau awak dah minat, tak kiralah betapa cetek pengetahuan awak tentang bidang itu, atau betapa ramai atau sedikit penyelidik yang membuat kajian dalam bidang sama, awak akan tetap kukuh dan setia dengan MINAT awak."

Dah cinta, kentut pun bau wangi, kan?

Walaubagaimanapun, aku tak nafikan, tahap pengetahuan @ pengalaman dan masa depan satu-satu bidang kajian juga antara faktor yang boleh dipertimbangkan, selain daripada minat. Haih, sebenarnya banyak lagi. Faktor penyelia, duit geran penyelidikan, suasana tempat penyelidikan... tu lain cerita.

Aku tanya lagi, "Macam mana saya nak tau saya minat ke tidak? Saya baca banyak-banyak topik, saya masih tak tahu yang mana saya minat"

"Hurm, awak baca, dan terus baca. Kalau awak rasa nak terus membaca satu-satu tajuk tu, semangat nak tahu lebih, maknanya awak minat. Kalau awak baca satu atau dua artikel pasal satu-satu bidang, kemudian tak rasa jatuh cinta, rasa nak baca tajuk lain pula, maknanya awak tak minat lah"

Amboi-amboi, senangnya dia cakap, dah habis PhD lah katakan kan...Haha.. Ada yang tidak mengambil masa yang panjang untuk menentukan samada dia minat, tahu atau yakin dengan masa depan tajuk penyelidikan yang dipilih. Dia hanya merebut sebarang PELUANG yang ada. Kalau macam ni, bagaimana?


Kata kawan aku, "Ain, kalau ni saja peluang yang ada depan mata, kalau aku dah hadap tajuk ni hari-hari, setahun, dua tahun, lama-lama minat juga, Ain. Tak kenal maka tak cinta, kan?"

Sekian perkongsian daripada aku, yang masih dalam perjuangan untuk PhD. Berjayanya belum lagi, nasihat orang je lebih. Haha.. aku kongsikan mana yang terdaya. Esok lusa tak sempat, kita tak tahu. Mudah-mudahan kau, kau.. dan kau.. haaa kau juga, dapat membulatkan hati untuk memilih tajuk PhD @ Masters nanti.

Kepada yang bakal berjuang atau sedang berjuang macam aku, chaiyok!!! Chaiyok kepada aku juga!

Selamat berusaha dalam menilai, berbincang, berdoa dan tawakkal agar Dia pegangkan hati; insyaAllah, yang terbaik Dia susunkan untuk kita nanti. Wallahu'alam.

I am not exotic

"I am an Asian. I didn't realize it before coming to USA"

"I am an Asian and I am not exotic"

What do you feel when you read @ listen these two statements from an Asian in USA?


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I read both statements in the Perkin Library,  Duke University (yes, I was in the library... an achievement for me!). Both sayings from another 36 more, were stated on their portrait pictures, hung on the library's wall (photo below).

 

That corner presents a current research about Asian in USA... BUT... I didn't read (understand) the whole research.. I am attracted with how Asian (some? at least, the respondents of the research) think @ feel about staying in USA as what I can understand from the sayings on the photos hung. (Please don't blame me for not reading about the research more, I have something else to do in the library, okay? hehehe...)

I feel like, this exhibition is run to avoid (or minimize) racist, or at least, to bring up the awareness of feeling differently treated. (Feeling.. I didn't say it is true or not..). Yes, they (who run the research) are aware for not being racist for people who not even their citizen! (racist is differently treating people because of their races, origins in any way ; speaking, looking, serving... okay, this is my own definition of 'racist')  They are (including me actually) only visiting, studying or living temporarily in US but they (American @ the researchers) still care what we feel! I think they care, because I found this corner.

They care if Chinese (from China) feel different, and awkward in USA, and make others aware about it. But do we care if Chinese or Indian who are MALAYSIANS feel differently treated and awkward in MALAYSIA, OUR own country? Yes, OUR country.

Is feel left or treat differently because of races should be happen among CITIZEN?

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Okay, enough to be a patriotic beautiful girl. Now, I would like to share a story as a cheerful pretty girl. It was in the elevator of the students' hostel in Warsaw, Poland, last 2008. My friends and I were going down (remembering that we are Malay girls, shorter, walk slower, talk more, laugh a lot and wearing scarf.... enough to show that we are different from Polish students).

"Hye, where are you come from?"
A Polish student asked. I believe he was not used to speak English but he was trying.
"Malaysia!"
"Wow....!!! You are... you are..."
We were patiently waiting (like an English native speaker waiting for me while I speak)
"You are... exotic!"

It sounded funny for me at the first time (I always see the funny parts before the sarcastic @ hard feelings, my friend said), until my friend told after he left, "What? Exotic? Do we look like.. dangerous snakes???"

Maybe the Polish guy didn't mean to hurt us, I believe it is because of English vocabulary limitation only (I am a nice person... Moreover, he was a good-looking guy). But feel 'exotic' and 'strange' is a non-happy effect, I guess, and I believe that what the portraits hung on the library's wall want to deliver.

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I remember, my housemate in US, she is from China, once asked while eating with me, "Are Chinese in Malaysia feel happy living in Malaysia?"
"Of course they are happy..."
Am I right?  Eerr.. hurm...

This writing is my personal taught and feeling, not from my deep research and not on behalf of a group of people from anywhere in this world. I just feel like, EVERY MALAYSIAN SHOULD HAPPY AS MALAYSIAN.

Suddenly I remember, the first friend I made in my first day at school (I was 7), an Indian girl, Bhanupriya. I lost contact with her now. Bhanu!!!! I miss you!!!